Got word a few hours ago that I'm moving on to the next stage of the diaconate application process! They really liked what I had to say on paper-- but that wasn't a given! I was truly one hundred percent honest-- just letting the Holy Spirit guide me, knowing that maybe I'm not meant for the diaconate, and that I should just speak from the heart and let God play things out in whatever way He intends.

The next step is a psych eval. Both Ellyn and I will be driving there next Friday at noon-- apparently we do part of it together, and then they separate us for the individual portions.

I've had people say to me "You'll be fine, they're just checking to make sure you're not crazy." But this is actually not a given for me in the sense that I am autistic, and I live my life with a lot of burn-out related anxiety. Just like during the paper application part, I am going to just be one hundred percent honest, and God will direct things as He always does, one way or the other.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you know how during a job interview process you practice, and learn how to say just the right things? I am not treating this process that way-- not even remotely. I'm not trying to direct things towards a specific outcome. Being a deacon isn't a job-- it's so much more than that. You can't boil being a deacon down to a list of functions: ordination literally changes you. And not everyone is intended to be altered in that manner.

So God will work through me, Ellyn, and all of the diocese people together, as a team, to discern whether I'm intended to go down this path, or some other.